The Minivan….when its not the swagger wagon….

You know that feeling when you have to do something that you really don’t want to do? It’s a little bit of anxiety coupled with a lot of procrastination until “enough is enough”…it’s got to be done.

Well…that’s how I feel about cleaning out my minivan. It’s like one of those haunted house rides….you start out like: “Ok…I can do this”…and before you know it you are doing a lot of:

  • “ OMG…what the heck is that?!”
  •  “I think I might throw up!!!”
  • “I think I might have touched something alive”…..
  • “ Ew…that was so gross”

That pretty much sums up my sentiments as I cleaned out our van the afternoon.

IMG_3065The three big kids were off at a homeschool gym class so I had a good 2 hours with the littles to get a bunch of stuff done…and the first thing I NEEDED to do was to take advantage of the lack of feet dangling from the seats and clean out the van. I could toss car seats in the trunk, and pull up seats…all while the toddler and 4 yr old were occupied by Strawberry Shortcake. After a few “I’m cold…can you close the door??” they forgot that I was even there.

Let me just take a second here to delve into the world of minivans. I have always been a SUV person. My parents gave me their 4 Runner for a few years  when I only had 3 kids and I LOVED IT!!! If it wasn’t for the need to fit another kid in the car, I would have been happy to live in SUV land. However, with Mini Me came the need to move to the minivan.

Now…I really fought this….but….I have to say that I do love the extra space.

The little ones love how comfy the seats are and it has allowed for many a nap while we are running errands.


We hold many a dance party in our minivan!


We even find time to watch a movie or two or get some pre-K schoolwork in while we wait for Sweet Pea at a piano lesson.


And the minivan helps foster the need I have to “be prepared”. I can fit a lot of stuff in my van….maybe not groceries like my husband wishes..but a lot of “mommy sanity stuff” that makes me feel great and ready for anything.

My husband has said on multiple accounts that if we were ever stranded, he would PRAY that it was in my van. I keep blankets in the trunk in the winter; as well as extra sweatshirts and snacks. In the summer, its extra play clothes, and snacks.

“selfies” at the Outerbanks

Ok….So…I pull up to the big car wash, “do it yourself” vacuum area. I’m really praying that no one is there nor will anyone pull up as I am cleaning out my van. Because….Lord knows….they might LITERALLY think that we LIVE in our van with the amount of “stuff” I’m going to pull out from under the seats.

And…my lesson in humility for the day….this lady pulls up and opens her car doors to vacuum her car and I’m thinking “WHY ARE YOU HERE???!!!” I mean….I would eat off her floor. No joke….

Meanwhile, my van looks like one of those “staged frat parties” off of a movie. I really took my time hoping that she would be quick so I could really get all this junk out of my car without feeling the need to “defend myself” and go off on a rant about how my house really is clean and I’m not a candidate for “hoarders”.

Anyway….back to my gripe about cleaning it out. Well…I am happy to live for as long as I can in “driver land” where all I see is my middle console and cup holders. I can grab out a wipe and give it a good wipe down and I’m off and ready. I even have a nice glade car scent to make it feel all “clean and fresh”.


I also take a few minutes and clean the row of seats behind me. Now…this is the seat of Miss Missy so I am often picking up her shoes (that she is suppose to be wearing); and several toys that she has thrown on the floor. Sometimes a sippy cup or a wrapper from a cereal bar. In this row is also Sweet Pea. She’s a huge fan of keeping things at her feet…and is not too messy….or so I thought. My whole opinion changed this afternoon as I found this:


Now…in my defense…I never see this part of the door. As its freezing cold outside, I step inside the van and close the door behind me….and I’m shocked!!!

It’s beyond gross…I see pizza crust; squished yogurt squeeze tubes; candy wrappers. I mean…come on, Sweet Pea!!!! Note to self…keep cleaning gloves in the back trunk.

Then I get to the back seat otherwise known as “no man’s land”. It’s the back row….the one where Mini me, DDD, and “the Fashionista” sit. This could be scary… my head…I’m singing “Eye of the tiger”…

IMG_2488This part of the van has sooo many cupholders; room to “stuff” trash under the three seats in front of them; room to “stuff” trash under their seats; and two pretty cool flip-up “cubbies”. Gotta love “flip up cubbies”….they are a breeding ground….they breed apple cores; gum…everything gross imaginable. And…this row didn’t disappoint today.

Mini me grew in excitement as I found several little action figures that had gone “missing”. I would be lying if I didn’t add that several happy meal toys may have been “accidentally” vacuumed up. Hey….you are going to have casualities!!!!

Well….30 minutes and $2.00 in quarters later, I walked away feeling pretty darn good about the floors in my van. However, I would NEVER admit that I just cleaned my floors. I just had to clean them myself before the hubs takes it in to let the professionals detail it as a present for me. I can’t let them see how we really live. Haha.

I know some of you are laughing at this post because you are thinking “that is SOOOO me”. Some of you are thinking “wow…that’s so gross. My van would NEVER look like what she describes”.  And my hat’s off to you because I really try and it still looks like that.

Here’s to life up in “driver land”…


may you venture to the back seldomly…

and with great apprehension….


God bless,




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